how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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