and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
