and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
