My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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