# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
