Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
