Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
