Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
