I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
