mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
