I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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