Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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