my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
