You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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