My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
