we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
