So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
