I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
did i just pee glitter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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