ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
