I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
