Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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