I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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