i just google imaged poop.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
