just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
