Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
