Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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