Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
