i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
