apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
