How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
