the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
