I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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