do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
