Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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