don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
