honey bunches of taint.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
