I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
