She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
