So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
