I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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