You can't special order awesome
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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