So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
