Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
