school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
