If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just high enough for therapy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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