just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
