My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
