he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
