Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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