Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
