Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
