Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
