It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
